


Signs of Love

by daxcat79



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Sign Language, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is Deaf, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daxcat79/pseuds/daxcat79
Summary: He can’t hear, but he can feel.





	Signs of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I've known sign language all my life. Sometimes it feels like my first language instead of my second. A lot of people don't really know much about what the deaf struggle with in a world that can be pretty oppressive to anyone or anything different. I hope this gives you an idea what they go through. Also, enjoy the reylo feels!

He can’t hear, but he can feel. Feel the vibrations through the massive speakers, setting his heart to a rhythmic beat. The small stage was smoked up and clouded, and his eyes focused on the drummer as he nodded along. He was just tall enough not to suffocate in this crowd of energetic teens and young adults looking to dance their troubles away. The lights flickered overhead with rainbow colors. Gay pride was this week and almost everyone in the small club was grinding up against their partners like an orgy with clothes on. Ben could feel the energy crash against him in waves, until he felt like a different person. Just another creature of the night.

He scanned the crowd for his friends and spotted Hux drooling over some fuckboy with dark curly hair... probably hearing. Armitage had a type. He may have been deaf, but he wanted his lovers to hear him scream when they fucked his ass. He was such a fucking power bottom. Phasma was clinging to her girlfriend, shoving her tongue down Kaydel’s throat right in the middle of the pit. Watching them made his chest feel too tight. He was so tired of being the fifth wheel, but he’d always been picky... and a bit of an asshole... according to Rey anyway.

What the hell was he even doing here?

His body craved this freedom, but his mind was miles away. All he’d wanted to do was escape for a little while. His friends were the ones to drag him out to this concert, but they’d abandoned him in seconds and he was drowning in this crowd. He felt betrayed. He felt like an outcast. His family had always been a sore spot with him, but now they’d gone too far. For a moment… the briefest of moments, he’d thought he’d found something special. Someone who could see past his shit. Accept him as he was. Then his fucking uncle told her to stay away… and what was his excuse? Luke Skywalker, renowned interpreter… professor and mentor at Rey’s university. What was his excuse for telling Rey to walk away? ‘Deaf is a disability. Deaf is a burden.’ That’s all he was to his family. 

He could expect that shit from his parents… the people who hadn’t even bothered to learn sign language to communicate with their son… but not Luke. He hadn’t expected that.

Perhaps he should have though. He’d been hard of hearing as a kid, struggling to keep up in a world of moving lips. Luke’s advice? Make him lip read. Make him fit in. His parents sent him off to Luke so he could learn how to function in the hearing world and the deaf. He’d felt torn apart. Bounced between two worlds that he wasn’t quite a part of. They claimed it was for the best, but Ben felt empty. He’d chosen his sign name. A ‘k’ moved from ear to mouth. Kylo… with no sound and no voice. He wanted nothing to do with his family’s world.

_“Read my lips, Ben. You need to focus on my lips.”_

Why?! So he could live in the hearing world? Pretend to be normal? He wasn’t like his family. He never would be, and didn’t want to be. There was nothing wrong with being deaf. There was nothing fucking wrong with embracing this. He had a people. A culture. Friends who felt just as oppressed and alone as he was. This was _his_ normal. He wouldn’t give it up. Not for anyone. Certainly not for his family. Not even for Rey.

Ben closed his eyes and focused on the vibration. His head was already bobbing with the beat of the drums. Fuck Luke Skywalker. Fuck his parents. Hell... fuck Rey too! This was why he didn’t bother with the hearing. They were a waste of his time. He refused to feel like less. No one was going to make him feel like less. Fuck em all.

*******

He’d only walked out of the club to get some air. He was soaked with beer and sweat, and so ready to pass the fuck out. The street stank of vomit and piss. A gritty mess. The city was primed for a party with rainbow flags in the windows of every building, celebrating this week of pride. His pulled out a cigarette and shoved it in his mouth, ready to light up when he felt someone’s eyes on him. Not someone. Her.

He could always feel her close. Sense her long before she entered his sight. So many would blame it on his other senses (heightened to adapt to being deaf), but he was pretty sure he’d feel her even if he was hearing. It was like a connection. A string from his bleeding heart to hers. He could curse her name as many times as he wanted, but at the end of the day… she belonged to him… just as he belonged to her.

He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and threw it to the ground. He turned his head to the side, and there she was. His Rey… with tears in her eyes. This time his heart beat to a different rhythm. Perhaps it was adjusting to sync along with hers. He watched her hand tighten in a fist against her chest as she signed.

_Sorry._

Just one sign, but it was all he needed to feel full again. To feel complete again. He could see it in her eyes. Regret. Loneliness. It was hard to believe they hadn’t known each other all their lives. She’d just been some newbie interpreter trying to get her hours of experience. Luke had hired her at his agency and quickly assigned her to Ben at almost every special event. His mother’s campaigns for Senator… Rey had been right there with him. She’d even gone to his mother’s parties as extra support. 

They hadn’t gotten along very well at first, but he’d admired her skill and passion for his language. She was one of the best interpreters he’d ever worked with. Expressive and clear. Rey never broke under pressure. Never missed a fucking beat. She signed like an angel... as if she were made for it... as if she were deaf. He fucking hated the hearing world, but somehow he couldn’t hate her. Not even if he tried.

He blinked once… twice, trying to remember why he’d been so pissed in the first place. His hands shook as he responded. His own eyes were blurring with hot tears. _Luke told you to stay away from me._

Rey nodded. He’d seen their conversation. He’d read their lips.

For a moment Ben wondered what her voice sounded like. He almost envied the fact that his uncle could hear it… and he never could… never would. He wanted to know Rey in every way imaginable. He’d lost his hearing as a kid, but he still remembered what it was like. His mother’s voice. His father’s laugh. Little things that most took for granted. He was happy to be deaf for the rest of his life, but just once… what he wouldn’t give… to hear Rey.

Ben swallowed hard, wiping the tears from his eyes before his hands moved to ask a question. _Why come here?_

She didn’t even hesitate. _I want you._ Rey emphasized each sign. As if he wouldn’t comprehend otherwise. In a way... he didn’t comprehend. How could she? Why would she? They were worlds apart.

Ben slowly walked towards her, holding her gaze. One sign. _Why?_ He mouthed the question.

To Ben’s surprise... Rey smiled. She was always so beautiful when she smiled. One sign back. A sign even his parents had learned. Pointer finger, pinky, and thumb stretched out with the two other fingers pressed against her palm. _I love you._

Ben mirrored the sign, pressing his hand to hers. _I love you too._

His lips were on hers in seconds. Their hands linking together as he deepened the kiss. He knew it that moment just how lost he’d truly been. Kissing Rey was everything. Meant everything. He made a promise to himself. He was going to take her home. Take her to his bed. Never let her leave. Never let her go. Fuck his parents. Fuck Luke Skywalker.

He wanted nothing to do with the hearing world... but maybe... definitely... he didn’t mind Rey.

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! Please let me know what you think!


End file.
